/Someone used a cheese slice as a bookmark, and the library’s shaming them on Twitter
Someone used a cheese slice as a bookmark, and the library’s shaming them on Twitter

Someone used a cheese slice as a bookmark, and the library’s shaming them on Twitter

By Nicole Gallucci

As we’ve learned from the chaotic evil “Don’t have a bookmark?” meme from 2019, many items in this world are not meant to be placed between the paper pages of valuable reading material.

Bad bookmarks include everything from a pile of Chex Mix or a puddle of Vitamin Water, to a bunch of Gushers fruit snacks and a piece of chicken. Most suggestions made on Twitter last year were jokes, so we let them slide, but it’s recently come to our attention that an actual human being once used a slice of cheese as a bookmark, which is absolutely unacceptable.

On Tuesday, the University of Liverpool Library tweeted photographic evidence of this crime against books. “This is not a bookmark,” the account declared, and posted a cursed photo of a discolored, oily, old slice of cheese that’s still wrapped in plastic.

The social media manager for the University of Liverpool’s library went on to joke that when talking to a pest control man about mice in the library they claimed to have no idea why the little critters were sniffing around the books. This was, of course, before a literal slice of cheese was found in a library book. Now things are starting to make a bit more sense.

Me talking to the pest control man – “No mate I’ve no idea why we have mice in the library”

*Picks up a book and actual cheese falls out of it*

— Uni of Liverpool Library (@LivUniLibrary) January 21, 2020

The sight of this hideous and clearly aged single slice of American cheese truly piqued Twitter users’ interest, and it wasn’t long before the mystery of this forgotten processed dairy bookmark inspired some cheesy tweets.

The library kicked things off by challenging a few of the 100,000 members of #LibraryTwitter who liked their tweet to come up with some cheesy puns. “We will pick the best pun and post the cheese slice to the winner!” they declared.

While we are surprised by the 100k likes, we know we can always rely on #LibraryTwitter for some cheesy puns. We will pick the best pun and post the cheese slice to the winner!

— Uni of Liverpool Library (@LivUniLibrary) January 22, 2020

Anyway, Library Twitter stepped up to the challenge and also shared some of the horrifying bookmarks they’ve found over the years. Spoiler alert: The thread got real… gouda.

Camembert it when people do this. Unbrielievable.

— School of the Arts (@sotauol) January 21, 2020

I’ve found sliced tomato before.

— Uni of Liverpool Library (@LivUniLibrary) January 21, 2020

Do you remember in Finding Nemo when those three sharks gather together to say “fish are friends, not food?”  In the spirit of that quote, remind yourselves on a semi-regular basis that slices of cheese slice are food, not bookmarks. Glad we had this chat!